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May 27 TuesdayI have been visiting family in Wisconsin since Saturday. I am staying with my mom while I am here. Yesterday I visited with an old friend and her family and then all of us went to my sister's on the lake. We took a long boat ride, it was so beautifu out...80 degrees or warmer. Very relaxing.
Today it is in the low 50's. Crazy weather. My mom and I went to the Olive Garden for lunch and then this evening I am going to see the opening of the movie Sex and the City . My brother works for a local T.V. station and he has two free tickets. Should be fun.
My husband stayed home to take care of our two puppies. I miss them so much, I almost didn't make the trip. I needed a break though. I have been taking care of our female dog non-stop. She has some serious health issues and needs a lot of attention.
That's about it for now. More about my trip when I get back.
Damselfly Lady May 13 TuesdayWell, good news my mother has been released from the hospital. Her Atrial fibrillation has gone back to a normal rhythm. She still has fluid in her lungs or is it around her lungs...I am not sure. She is staying with my brother for a while until she feels up to going to her own place. She has a great neighbor who looks in on her, so I am happy she will not be completely alone.
On another bright note, we held a baby shower for a girl I work with yestersday at work. It is her first. She is due in early June. I knitted a baby sweater for her. It turned out well. It is my first time knitting a baby sweater. Here is a photo:
May 12 Family and all that that entails...Well, it has been a trying time for me and my family this past month. Beginning in April around the 10th I think my female dog, Charlotte, came down with a rare, strange condition called Myositis. If you are interested in the details the link below does a good job of describing the condition. http://www.vetspecialists.co.uk/06_Animal_Welfare/Neurology_Facts/Myositis.html
Charlotte is on steroids, which has several very unpleasant side effects of its own. Poor thing has her muscles wasting and drinks and pees a lot more than normal. She is tired all the time and I am sure wonders what happened to her. For the umpteenth time I wish dogs could understand humans and vice versa. We are finished with one month of steroids at full-strength and are into our 2nd week of a reduced dose of the steroids. She also has developed a urinary track infection. More peeing.
In addition to all that has happened with Charlotte my mom is in the hospital. She went in for a procedure on her heart a month ago and has had continuing problems since. She has a pace maker, which they have had to replace and she has fluid in her lungs and a staff infection. They can't seem to tell us why exactly she has the fluid, they drained it once and it came back. If her body doesn't take care of it on its own they will need to put in a chest tube to drain the fluid. My mom is 76 years old. She is in relatively good health otherwise.
I have a planned trip to see her at the end of the month, but now I am debating whether or not to move that up. It is such a difficult decision given that my little Charlotte is also sick. If anything would happen to her while I was gone, I don't know what I would do. On the other hand I worry about something worse happening to my mom and that would also put me over the edge.
It has been a very difficult time, trying to take care of Charlotte, the house, working AND worrying about my mom. I keep waiting for life to get easier...I don't see that happening.
We lost our first dog and my father five years ago around this time. I am seeing some scary, strange parallels to that situation now. It was a very dark time in my life...please Lord don't make me go through that again.
May 05 Mother's Day StoryI might have told this story before...but it is my favorite story involving my mother.
I think I was eight years old that Christmas. What I wanted more than anything else was a wrist watch. I did not have one, so this would be my first. Hopefully Santa would bring me the watch. I hinted to my parents many times that Christmas. I thought it was a lock.
We always spend Christmas Eve with my mother’s mother. We had a nice dinner and then all the children would go into the stairwell and wait for Santa to arrive. I was there with my siblings and all my cousins. It was so exciting, everyone whispering and trying to listen for Santa Claus.
Eventually we heard the rustling and bustling of packages and then we heard the ever popular…HO HO HO!. How exciting. Soon our parents opened the stairwell door and out we ran. Each child found a spot on the living room floor the oldest cousins began handing out the presents.
A little aside here. I have an older sister and we are a year apart in age. We usually received very similar gifts each year for Christmas.
I was so excited I could hardly stand it. I began opening each package anticipating my coveted watch. Each present was very nice, but still no watch. All of a sudden I heard my sister squeal with delight, I looked over and she had opened her present and there it was…her watch. It was in a square Tim*ex box.
I was now doubly excited…I thought, OOOH, I was going to get my watch. We always get the same things for Christmas. I continued opening my presents and I still no watch. I had one present left and it was in the shape of a flat large envelope. I was crest-fallen; I knew it couldn’t be my watch because it wasn’t shaped right. My sister’s watch came in the square box. At that moment I looked up and saw my Mom watching me intently with a Cheshire cat grin on her face. I was so mad, I thought what are you smiling about…I didn’t get my watch, how unfair. She just kept smiling as I began to slowly open my last present.
I ripped off the wrapping paper and sure enough it was one of those padded envelopes. I opened the end of the envelope and reached inside and pulled out the gift…you guessed it, there was my WATCH!. I was beyond excited. I looked at my Mom again and she was so happy. I said to her “you took it out of the box”. She just kept smiling.
The best Christmas present, to date, I have ever received…bar none. Ahhh…daughter of little faith. Thank you Mom and Happy Mother’s Day! April 23 WednesdayWell, my female puppy is about the same. We are two weeks into the four weeks of full-strength steroids she is taking. So she is still drinking and peeing a lot. A LOT. Her lethargy is the same.
My mom is still in the hospital. They couldn't get her heart to a normal rhythm, so they decided to shock it into it. They have done this twice before and it has worked, so I hope it works this time. I spoke with her yesterday and she seemed to think it had worked. She may go home today or tomorrow.
Gosh, getting older is a pain in the butt. Here is what I looked like at 17 years old...if only I could stay looking 17 forever.
Happy hump day everyone! April 18 Sadness...Well I have been having a difficulty time this past week and a half. Early last week our female dog was having trouble eating her dog biscuits and she whimpered a little when I would open her mouth to give her her pills. I took her to our Vet and he said she might have a condition similar to TMJ in humans. Her muscles around her jaw and head were inflamed. He gave me some antibiotics for a possible infection along with prednisone(steroid) for the inflammation. Of course along with prednisone comes a lot more drinking and of course, you guessed it...peeing, a lot of peeing. When we are home we have to take her out almost every hour, otherwise we will have an accident.
On Monday I came home from lunch and she looked very strange. Her face looked gaunt and sunken-in. I freaked-out of course. I loaded her and her brother into the car and drove to our Vet's office. Luckily he was able to see her right away. He said this was a progression of the condition and that the prednisone had reduced the swelling and that her muscles were atrophying. Hopefully the prednisone would stop the muscles from getting any worse. I was very concerned so my Vet recommended an internal medicine specialist for dogs...I said yes, that would be a good idea. We went to see the specialist on Wednesday. She confirmed my Vet's diagnosis. She did give me a better idea of what the condition is. My dog's immune system was attacking her body...specifically her jaw muscle. I asked about the possibility of the other muscles in her body being affected. She said, no, that the jaw muscle is made of different material than other muscles in her body, so the immune system only attacks the jaw muscle. I asked if her muscle would return to normal after the medicine had time to work...she said sometimes it does and sometimes it doesn't. It depends on how much damage was done before she started taking the prednisone.
Another side affect of this whole problem is lethargy. She doesn't seem to even want to go for a walk. She is able to walk, but acts like she is too weak to go for a walk. So now we have...peeing all lthe time and no walking.
I can't even express to you how much I love my dogs. If you have read any of my other posts concerning them you would have some idea. They are my family and all that that entails. I am only as happy as my dogs are healthy. I know that is not always good to depend on my dogs health for my happiness...but there it is. They are a part of me.
Now, another stress this week is...my mother has had surgery on her heart. She has a pacemaker and there is a new procedure that if successful will reduce her medications by two, I believe. She had the surgery on Tuesday, and is doing okay, still having trouble getting her breathing back to full capacity. She might go home from the hospital tomorrow or Sunday.
When I spoke with her yesterday I mentioned that my dog was sick. She never asked me what was wrong with her, how she was, will she be okay. Now I know what you are going to say...she just had surgery...cut her some slack. I did, I dropped the subject and talked about something else. I love my mother very much, but she has never understood how important my dogs are to me. She does not get it...that they are members of my family. And before you ask, yes I have tried to explain it to her many times...she will never understand.
Case in point. When I spoke with her today on the phone, she mentioned my dog and asked what was wrong with her. I told her a summarized version of the above...her very first comment to me was "Well, maybe you will have to put her to SLEEP". Death was her first choice for treatment. Hmmmmm. Not my first choice, and hopefully not my last choice. All animal lovers out there can imagine how her comment made me feel. I struggle every single day watching her deal with the steroid side-effects. She is such a little trouper, she has been through so much already. Just under two years ago she ruptured a disk in her back and had to have back surgery. It took her quite a while to recover, and she still does not have much strength in her hind legs, but she is our little miracle puppy.
I am devastated by all that has happened to her. I am her owner, I am supposed to be her protector...but I can't seem to protect her from these difficult medical problems. I am beside myself on how to handle all of this. At this point, I just try to get through each day as best I can.
Well, that's what has been happening in my crazy, mixed-up world of late.
Damselfly Lady and mother of a very sick puppy.
Here is a photo of my family. My sick littlel girl is the one in white. :...(
March 27 ThursdayWell, my husband left yesterday for the great northwest...Seattle. He is going to a wedding (cousin) and a funeral (his grandmother). My husand's family lives in the Seattle area. His grandmother had Alzheimer's and Arthritus. She was in her mid 80's. It's always hard when a loved one dies, but this was a blessing as anyone dealing with Alzheimer's can atest. I would love to have gone with my husband but finances and our two puppies prevented that. I am trying to plan a trip to see my family in Wisconsin over the Memorial Day holiday.
On another sad note my cousin died this week. She was only 57 years old. Very sad. She lost her second battle with breast cancer. She left behind two grown children, two brothers and one sister. Her family has always had a rough time of it. Her father died when he was 50 years old of a heart attack. My cousin was a junior in college, her brother a junior in high school, her other brother was 7-8 years old and the youngest, her sister was 4 years old. Their mother is my father's sister. She died a couple of years ago. At least she didn't have to see her daughter die before she did. So very, very sad. It has really hit me hard. My cousin is the first to die of my generation, except for a boy cousin of mine who had an accident when he was 30, that killed him...a wall fell on him, he was a construction worker.
Not a very happy post I know. On to another topic. My female dog, Charlotte has been throwing up again. She seems to have a bad case of acid reflux. I took her to the Vet recently to find out if anything else could be causing her vomiting...$246 later, the blood test came back normal. Crazy, so I have adjusted her food a little. She has been vomit-free for over 24 hours and has kept 3 meals down...Yeahhhh! Here is a photo of her...
She is my little Char Char.
Damselfly Lady
P.S. My husband called this morning from Seattle and told me it was snowing there when he landed. I told him it was in the 70's here today. :) February 22 HAPPY BELATED BIRTHDAY SISMy sister's birthday was on the 17th, so this is a little late. How old you ask....hmmmmmm...let's just say she was born in 1961...you do the math!
I love meatloaf, so here is a little sample today.
February 08 My sisterWell finally the end of the week. It has been a long one. I have a DAR meeting tomorrow and then we have a neighbors housewarming party to attend. They have remodeled their home...it took 8 months...they had to move out for those 8 months. I don't think I would like that, but they are young and strong, they seem no worse for the wear.
I talked to my youngest sister, yesterday. She was not very happy. She is four years younger than I am. She is the third oldest or the second youngest in our family. So math whizzes out there, how many children in my family. Come on you geniuses put that thinking cap on. You guessed it 4.
My sister, let's call her S2, is an interesting individual. I have some great memories of her over the years. Let's stroll down memory lane shall we. One of my earliest memories of her is when she was about three or four years old. She had the sweetest blond ringlets you've ever seen and the cutest smile. Just thinking about that image makes me smile. I think S2 knows that I love her very much. I am proud to be her sister. But I digress...back to memory lane.
One memory I have is when S2 was 6 or 7 and I was 10 or 11. We lived in an old farm house in the northern part of Wisconsin. The best thing about the farm house was, it sat right across the highway from the Dairy Queen and down the street from an A&W Drive-In. We also could walk to the city swimming pool from our house. My parents had turned the dining room (not sure it was originally the dining room) into a bedroom for them. It was on the first floor in the front of the house. The doors were beautiful french doors with leaded glass. Two of them. Anyway, one day, I can't even remember why, but S2 was chasing me with a belt and swinging it at me. I have two sisters and the three of us fought quite a bit growing up...all in good fun of course. I proceeded to run into the living room and then into my parents bedroom shutting the two french doors befind me. S2 was still chasing me and as I closed the door she was swinging the belt and the buckle end of the belt hit the glass doors and you guessed it...broke the glass. Now who do you suppose got into the most trouble for that little shenanigan. Not S2 that's for sure. It was a very expensive door and my mom was very mad. We did not own the house, we were renting so we had to replace the door quickly before the landlord saw it.
Now that I think of it, there was another window breaking episode. We were living in Minnesota, it must have been 1965 or 1966. S2 was probably around 4 or 5. My older sister and I were being chase again by S2, again I know not why. We were outside and we started to run into the house and we immediately shut the door behind us and locked it. S2, started pounding on the door to let her in...we of course were laughing I am sure. You know what happened next she broke the glass in the door. We also got into a great deal of trouble for that incident.
In 1987 S2 and I went to Mexico, Puerto Villarta for a weeks vacation. We had a great time. One spring we took a trip to visit our uncle in Dallas, on a whim. We also went on three vacations to Florida together. Two years in a row we camped at KOA camp grounds and then the third year we said...enough roughing it...and stayed in hotels. Our brother and his girlfriend came on that trip with us. The first year we went to Florida we went with two other couples. We were going to be in Florida over Easter, so before we left S2 and I got this bright idea to make everyone an Easter basket and bring along the candy and what not to put in the baskets. So we sat up night after night making these baskets out of plastic canvas and yarn, with each persons initials on the baskets. My mom helped as I recall. On the way down to Florida...we drove...we worried the chocolate would melt, so I think we made sure to put it in the cooler. On Easter morning S2 and I got up early and placed Easter baskets outside the door of each tent. Such fun. I wonder if S2 remembers that. She has a pretty good memory, so I bet she does.
S2 and I spent a lot of time together when we were in our 20's and 30's. We both played softball and volleyball in leagues. We also shot pool in a league. I only played one year, but S2 still shoots pool, I think.
One of the strongest memories I have is when S2 was in a bad motorcycle accident. I wrote about it in two previous blogs. She smashed up her face pretty bad, over 40 stitches and also broke off a piece of her elbow bone. That was something, I sat in the emergency waiting room for a couple of hours while they stitched her up. S2 was a trouper. When she finally came out of the trauma room, her back was to me, I didn't know whether to yell at her or hug her. I chose to hug her, I am sure she felt bad enough already. She was riding the motorcycle with only a temperary license and she wasn't supposed to be driving at night until she received her permanent license.
Some random thoughts about S2:
You might wonder why I am writing about my sister in this blog. Yesterday, when I spoke with S2 she was down. I just want to say to her...You can do anything you put your mind to. You are beautiful inside and out. If you need anything...I am here for you. I know I am not close geographically, but I think of you always, and wish I lived closer. I miss hanging out with you. We have had so much fun together. You need and deserve a wonderful vacation. Don't let anything get in the way of that. Have a wonderful trip. I love you very much! :) The Middle Daughter (as mom likes to refer to me) September 25 Bathroom updateWell, our bathroom remodel is almost finished. The remodeler did not seal the grout, we had to do that. He also did not paint the bathroom, so we are in the process of finishing the painting. Hopefully we will finish up tonight.
We are having a 40th birthday party for my husband on Saturday with out-of-town guests coming and I want the bathroom to be completely finished by Friday at the latest. We also had to repair the ceiling in the family room and I am having the carpet cleaned in there tonight.
During the bathroom remodel the workers managed to scratch the hard wood floor in the hall outside the bathroom. They tried to fix it, but it looks worse now. The head of the remodeling company said I should get two estimates and he would pay for the repair of the floor. I don't think I will get the repairs finished before the weekend. Hopefully no one will notice the floor. You can only do what you can do.
I still need to order a birthday cake and buy my husbands birthday present (I know what I am getting him). Tomorrow I will pick up the in-laws from the train station. They will be here through Tuesday.
Well that's about it. I am taking off Thursday and Friday from work to finish getting the house and lawn in order for our visitors. August 17 Baking memoriesWhen I was young, prior to age 10, my parents ran a cafe in southwestern Minnesota. My father did a lot of the baking. I have the fondest memories of that cafe....The Corner Cafe. It was such a wonderful place to me. My parents had different memories of the cafe...but that is another story. I was recently reading another bloggers entry on scents that evoke memories. I thought of my father's baking in The Corner Cafe. Each morning my father would arrive early and make donuts from scratch...plain and sugar donuts. They were scrumptious. He would also bake 2-3 pies each morning. Apple, pumpkin, blueberry in season, cherry. Cherry was always my favorite. He would criss-cross the crust on top. Gosh his pies were heaven, with a little scoop of ice cream (ala mode) of course. Except for pumpkin, which always got whipped cream. If my father had a little extra time, he would take the left over crust, cut it into strips and sprinkle a sugar/cinnamon mixture over it and bake. We would beg him many mornings when we were there in the summer to make the left over crusts for us. I am sure he got a kick out of it. I still make the sugar/cinnamon strips from my left-over crusts when I bake pies. Which isn't very often, usually around the holidays and my husbands birthday. I am not sure why my father liked to bake or what got him started, but I was always so proud that he could bake and cook. Not many men had that talent back then. He made the best homemade soups, especially vegetable, starting with a ham bone. When I would walk into the house and he was in the process of making the soup (which took all day mind you), it smelled heavenly. I would take out a spoon to dip into the soup pot, but my dad would say..."it's not ready yet", and he was right, it never tasted as good as it smelled until it was done cooking. He had a knack. I don't think he used a recipe...he just knew what to add, what would taste good. I haven't thought of his homemade soups in a long time. Dear Dad, I miss you so much...every day. Love, Your middle daughter July 23 Weekend with the In-LawsWell, I made it through last week. Very long week. This weekend my MIL, BIL and family came down to visit us. Their two sons came as well. They are so sweet.
I don't know how much I am going to write now, it is slow going...I don't know if it's the new Windosws Live or if it's my DSL. Anyway, it is taking forever to manuever on the space today.
My In-Laws all came down on Saturday morning about 10:30. They reserved a room at the Embassy Suites. My MIL stayed with us. We have room for the rest of them, but they felt more comfortable at the hotel. Such is life.
We took them to this nature preserve in the area. A little like a zoo, there were a lot of goats, chickens, bison, deer, antelope, all types of injured birds...vultures, owls, hawks and the like. We also saw two bears and several rabbits. They had a beautiful waterfall where you could get up close and personal. It was a wonderful day weatherwise and companywise. In the 80's and not a sign of any humidity.
After the preserve we went to lunch at Applebee's. We had an uneventful lunch and then went back to our house. My MIL, SIL and myself sat down to make some jewelry...rings actually that my MIL saw on HGTV. The rings were fun to make, but they are not something I would wear on a regular basis. Later we sat on our screen porch and drank Bailey's Irish Creme on the rocks. Very smooth. We tried out the new Bailey's, caramel flavor. I am partial to anything caramel. My nephews were happy running around the house, playing, and watching TV. They went back to their hotel around 10 pm. Oh I almost forgot, my husband and his brother went out around 8pm to check out a bar we are thinking about to host my husband's 40th birthday bash. After they returned, the group minus my MIL went back to their hotel for the evening.
On Sunday morning we met them at their hotel and all had breakfast, then we went down to the river to check out my place of employment and take a walk around an offshore island. They had these large rocks and rapids running along them. You can walk right out onto the rocks from shore. There were quite a few people sunbathing and swimming in the areas surrounded by the rocks, which created natural swimming holes. We took lots of photos, unfortunately, they were all on my MIL and BIL's cameras, I had forgotten ours at home. If they send me photos, I will post them to my space.
We went to lunch at a local hamburger joint, it boasts the best hamburgers and fries in town. I am a vegetarian, so I didn't get to enjoy the hamburgers, but the Boca burger wasn't too bad. After lunch the in-laws headed back and me and hubby went home to spend some quality time with the puppies.
A good time was had by all. I even picked up a knitting project I had started last winter and was working on it last night.
That's about it. I hope everyone had a nice weekend. Weatherwise here it was perfect.
Damselfly Lady July 07 VacationWe spent the past week in Wisconsin visiting my family. We drove so we were able to take our two dogs. We left on Saturday and returned today, Saturday. It was a long way to drive, but not as bad as I thought. We spent two nights at a hotel and the other three nights with my Mom. I hadn't been to Wisconsin in two years. It was nice to catch up with everyone. Friends of ours who live in Atlanta were also in Wisconsin visiting family. We were able to have a nice visit with them. My family celebrated the fourth at my sisters. She lives on a lake, so we had a good time boating and using her jet skis. They had originally predicted rain, but it was sunny and beautiful all day. It is alway too short a time when I visit my family. We had nice weather the entire time. When we got home the dogs went to their favorite spots and never moved the entire evening. I think they missed home more than we did. They were such troupers. We had never taken such a long trip with them in the car. They handled traveling very well. It was a little stressful having them with us every where we went but it was nice not having to worry about them back home in a kennel or with a dog sitter. We made a trip to the school were my husband and I met when we were teaching. We ran into quite a few teachers that were teaching at the school when we were there. It was nice to catch up with everyone and get all the schools news. It was a good trip, but I am glad to be home. June 18 Marriage, and all that that entails.For a girl, marriage seems the ultimate goal. Well for this girl anyway. As I was growing up, I saw everything through the eyes of a soon to be Mrs. somebody. As I got older I realised that marriage isn't the be all and end all in my life. My mom used to say, and still does "you were born an adult". That's me, always the voice of reason. When I was in my teens, I thought I didn't need anyone else to make me happy. I found out that is not true (for me anyway). My dad used to tell me "no man is an island". I didn't know what he meant until much later in life. When I was younger our family moved around some. I developed a pretty hard exterior. You have to when you are a kid and you move from town to town. A lot of teasing going on. When I was dating, men used to tell me that it was pretty tough to crack my exterior. One guy even said, to a mutual friend, that he couldn't touch me with a ten foot pole. At the time I took it as a compliment...now, not so much. We are all products of our past, I am not complaining, just explaining. Back to marriage. I didn't know if I would ever get married. I wanted to...but, like many single girls, I couldn't seem to find Mr. Right. A lot of Mr. Wrong's, but they are for other blogs. I went happily through my 20s, much partying and going to the bars. Then I hit my 30s and partying sort of partied out. Don't get me wrong, I still went out, just not as enthusiastic about it as I was in my 20s. I had dated a few duds, and finally decided that I was meant to go through life alone. Not so bad, once I reached that conclusion. In fact, life became easier, I stopped envisioning Mr. Right in every single guy I met. I was done trying to impress men. If I hadn't made an impression by my 30s, well...you fill in the rest. I am fairly happy with myself. 5'10", reasonably proportionate weight wise...you didn't really think I was going to tell you my weight. :) In my 30s I would say I was attractive. I was happy with myself. My one failing, in my view...you guessed it, I wasn't married? I think growing up in the 60s and 70s, women were expected to get married and have a family. Hell, I expected it. I used to tell myself, when I get married...I will finish my degree. When I get married...I will travel. When I get married...I will be, wait for it....HAPPY. I finally had had enough of waiting. For marriage or anything else. I knew if I wanted those things I had to go out and get them. One of the things I am most proud of in my life is going back to school and getting my teaching degree. I went back when I was 31 years old. It was tough, but I loved every minute of it. I got a teaching job and I enjoyed that too. I even went on several trips...that's right...by myself. I went to the Bahamas in 1987 and in 1993 I made a trip to England for a week right before Christmas. It was wonderful. Now don't get me wrong, it would have been more enjoyable vacationing with someone else, but I was tired of waiting. I did realize something though, I live too much in the future. I have learned and am still learning that I must live in the present. It sounds simple doesn't it. It's not! Anyway, in 1994 I met my future husband. We were both teaching at the same school. We dated for 1 1/2 years and then got engaged. We were married a year later, in 1997. We are coming up on our 10 year anniversary. We had a wonderful wedding. Such a beautiful day. I have to tell you marriage isn't perfect...single life isn't perfect, but I do prefer being married. It isn't easy. There are ups and downs. We are going through a rough patch now, we are both busy at work, and my husband turns 40 this year and it is not sitting well with him. He has been a little down lately. We have always been very close, so when he is down...it is like the flu...I am down. We just seem to pass it back and forth to each other. Argh!! Life is supposed to get easier as you get older. Don't you believe it. There are always new and exciting problems coming around the mountain. My motto is...face them head on. Hiding your head in the sand is no way to live your life. Fight for happiness each and every day. It will not be handed to you on a silver platter. My husband and I watched the Jimmy Stewart classic Harvey last night. Ellwood P. Dowd (aka Jimmy Stewart) has a great line in the movie. He says "my mother used to tell me, you can either be smart or pleasant, I've tried smart, I recommend...pleasant." I love that line. Here's to being pleasant...I recommend it. Damselfly Lady June 01 FUNI have nothing to say today, but what the heck, when did that ever stop me. Fellow blogger Thotman was talking about why people blog on his latest blog. http://thotman.spaces.live.com...Thotman, I am slowly becoming your PR representative.
Anyway, I started blogging because it sounded like fun. The problem is...I find it difficult to come up with interesting things to write about. Some people write about their everyday experiences and they usually make it seem interesting. My everyday experiences seem very mundane to me...therefore not worth lamenting about. Although, that doesn't stop me from time-to-time.
I did have one thought the other day that stuck with me...FUN. Yes, FUN, and all that entails. When I lived close to my family, we would go out together and have FUN. Now I don't say that lightly...to me FUN is not something that happens every day. It is hard to plan FUN...it is even difficult to predict FUN. The recipe for FUN is different in any given situation. You might throw a bunch of FUN people together and think, "now we are going to have some FUN", but you find out...that is not always the case. Maybe the venue is wrong, or someone is mad at someone else...or the ever unpopular party pooper is in attendance. This has happened to me on more than one occasion.
Back to my family. We know how to have FUN...I mean it, we do. We also know how to get into arguments (but that's another blog entirely). You need a little background on my family to appreciate the story I am about to tell. Let's see, I have an older sister, who is very volatile and has a quick temper. Ditto for my younger sister. The added problem with this is--you never know when you will set them off. Add alcohol to the mix...and you guessed it KABOOM! Now my brother (youngest in our family) and myself are the passive ones of the bunch. Always wanting to keep the peace. Not always easy with Sister 1(S1) and Sister 2(S2).
Now, all four of us were out one fine evening in a tavern. Along for this glorious ride were SI's husband and a friend of S2's. We were having a fine time, at a local establishment. We knew the owner and frequented the place regularly. We were definitely having FUN.
We were sitting at a table. At one point my brother-in-law decides to go to the bathroom. I think it was S2's friend (but am not sure) knocks my brother-in-law's cap off his head. (all in FUN of course) As the cap goes flying through the air it makes its way to the bar, and tips over a patrons beer bottle. A tall gentleman (I use that term loosely) and his girlfriend were sitting at the bar. It was his beer that got tipped over. He picks up the cap and turns around to face our table. He is very annoyed that we have tipped over his beer. S2 walks over with her hand outstretched to retrieve the baseball cap. The gentleman (loosely, remember) refuses to give her the cap and starts yelling at my sister concerning his turned over beer bottle. At this point S1 decides to get involved, we still do not have the cap. Both of them are in this guys face yelling at him to return the cap. I don't remember the sequence of events at this point, but I will try to get them all in. You could see the rage on this man's face...for goodness sake it was a beer. S2 finally says to the guy, "I will buy you another beer". He really wants to pop my sisters, you can see it in his eyes. Now, my brother and I at this point both look at each other and are thinking exactly the same thing --we are going to have to fight this guy. (On an aside, my sisters are both around 5'6", by brother is 6'1' and I am 5'10") We stand up at the same time and get ready to intervene. The guy at the bar finally gives in, he balls the baseball cap up and throws it at my sisters. The bartender has come over to see what the ruckus is about. He gets the man another beer and puts it on my sisters tab. Story over, catastrophe averted, right? We should be so lucky.
The whole time this guy is interacting with my sisters, his girlfriend never once turned around. She kept trying to calm him down, but never once turned around. Amazing. If I were her I would have been curious to see what all of us looked like. Come to think of it, maybe she could see us in the mirror over the bar...was there a mirror over the bar? (S2 will no doubt let me know, she has a crackerjack mind for things like this)
After my sisters returned to their seats, my brother-in-law returned from the bathroom (oblivious to the goings on) and the irate gentleman received his replacement beer, we calmed down. All of a sudden the gentleman (not) and his girlfriend make motions that they are going to leave. I think, "great" our problem is going to depart. As I hold my breath and they are turning to leave, S2 cannot contain herself...she yells to the
FUN! I still get such a kick out of that story when it pops into my head. My volatile sisters...you gotta love em.
Now go have some FUN this weekend! You deserve it.
Damselfly Lady
P.S. This event took place over 15 years ago. Our family has such FUN when we all get together. Someone usually gets sucked into the vortex...you know who you are.
March 30 A little about myself...I was born in 1956, in a little town in Minnesota. Yes that makes me 50 years old. I am the second oldest of four children. I have an older sister, who was born in 1955, a younger sister born in 1961 and a baby brother born in 1964. My parents moved to a neighboring town when I was a toddler. They bought a cafe and ran it for 8 or 9 years I think.
I miss those times more than I can say. You see I am one of those people who loved their childhood. My parents were not physically demonstrative. Each night when we were ready for bed, my mother would tell us to go kiss our father goodnight and run up to bed. We never kissed her goodnight (not that I can remember anyway). Even without the displays of affection, I knew I was loved. I believe that it is a gift some parents possess, I can't even give you tangible reasons why I felt loved. Okay maybe one.
Whenever my parents would introduce me to someone, even to this day, they say, "this is our middle daughter, _____". I can't explain it to you, other than to say, it always sounded like, "this is our pride and joy _______. I can't speak for my siblings, so I am not sure they felt the same way, but I always felt loved.
My dad used to tell me, he was so blessed. He never thought he would get married let alone have four children. He is my hero.
Neither one of my parents graduated from high school, but they gave us a good life.
I went to a Catholic school until I was in 5th grade. When I was 10 years old we moved to a neighboring state. It was quite the adventure. I can't imagine how scared my parents must have been. Starting all over with four children. We lived on a farm the first year on the edge of town. Then we moved into town and lived on a dead end street (85 Dodge Street). We had such fun playing in that neighborhood. One of my fondest memories is living on 85 Dodge Street.
I was always a tall girl. When I was 12 years old I looked 18. Scary for my parents and for me. I was 5'5" in 5th grade, 5'6" in 6th grade, and so on until my sophomore year. I stopped at 5'10". Thank goodness. I think I was born a size 10, I wish I was still a size 10. My sisters are average height, around 5'6". My brother is 6'2", my dad was 6' and my mom is 5'8". Probably more than you wanted to know about my family.
We moved again in two years time, so we all had to start again. Not a good experience the second time around. We spent six years in the next town, and then my parents moved again, to a neighboring town. I can't tell you unless you experience it yourself, but moving is one of the most traumatic experiences for a child. Ask my youngest sister. My parents moved when she was a freshman in high school. She cried every day when she got home from school that first week...and she is one tough cookie. My heart broke for her. :...(
As an adult I also moved a great deal. It is still difficult but you face different types of problems. Loneliness is on the top on my list. I miss my family a great deal, but they all know how much I love them and miss them.
Let's see, where was I...I graduated from high school in 1975. Went to college for two years and then decided to quit and go into the work force. Of course for all the wrong reasons...a man. I worked for 10 years and decided to return to college and received a degree in mathematics. I taught high school math for 5 years and then moved out of state again, with my fiance when he decided to go to graduate school.
We married in 1997 and my husband finished graduate school in 1998 and we were off to another state again. We spent three years in West Virginia, yes, West Virginia, then my husband took a job in another state, and we were off again. We have been in our current home for over five years. I told my husband that we will not move again. I am done.
Well that's my life in a nutshell. I sometimes can't believe I am 50 years old. Not that that is old, it just doesn't seem like I have lived 50 years. A lot of memories.
I am a serious person by nature. Too serious sometimes.
Damselfly Lady
March 16 HeroesI recently read thotman's blog about his heroes. I started thinking about the heroes in my life. There is the obvious one...my father, but this entry is not about him. There is a woman that came into my life in the usual way. She was the mother of a past boyfriend. We met when I was 19 years of age. I started dating her son the summer of 1976. I met her soon after. She was the mother of six children, five boys and one girl. My boyfriend was the second oldest of the bunch. Lolus was a single mother raising this brood of children. I met them all when the children were 24, 23, 21, 15 and 11 years of age. Two of the children are twins. I was not dating one of the twins. They all were an interesting group. None of them looked alike, except the twins of course, they were identical. And they were IDENTICAL. Lolus was 46 years old when I met her. Ten years earlier, she kicked her husband out of the house and never let him back in. You see he was the type of man that would head straight to the bar after work each day and didn't get home until late each evening. When his parents would visit, he would of course play the dutiful husband and father and come straight home after work each night. When the parents left after each visit, he would go back to his usual routine--work, bar and then home. One day Lolus had had enough and when he came home from the bars all of his belongings were out on the front porch and she had locked him out of the house. He of course was very mad and demanded she open the door. Back in those days people did not carry house keys with them as people seldom locked their doors.(but that's another story) She stuck to her guns and did not let him in. He tried to reconcile with her, but eventually gave up and the family never saw him again. He moved back to the state where his parents lived and remained there until his death. Lolus did not have a job, she was a stay at home mom. She was now faced with the monumental task of supporting herself and six children. She got a job as a teacher's aide in the local elementary school. When her sons were old enough they each in turn got a job working after school. They survived, in fact when I met them they were thriving. You see Lolus is a miraculous person. She was always in a good mood. Always smiling. Thought the best of everyone. The summer I met all of them, one of the twins had recently broken up with his 18 year old girlfriend, a week after they broke up she found out she was pregnant. They decided to get married and have the baby. The brides father talked to the twin before they were to be married and said that he did not have to marry his daughter if he didn't think it was what he wanted. The twin turned to the girl's father and said "yes I do". They got married in August and in September they had a three month premature little boy, they called him Robbie. Robbie was so smart. From little on you knew he was special. He has now graduated from law school and is currently out job hunting. Lolus took all of this in stride and did what she could to help her son and his new family. We all did...it was a wonderful time in my life. They all were my second family and I eventually thought of Lolus as my second mother. One day she and I were talking and she told me the story of her husband and how they met and what happened when she finally kicked him out. There are many things that make her a hero to me. To name just a few...she never said an unkind word about her husband to me or in my presence and believe me she had cause. He never gave her a dime after they split up to help raise their children. That in itself was always so amazing to me. She would discourage her children from talking about their father in an unkind manner. She always saw the good in people. Her most enduring quality was her support of me in everything I did. She saw me separate from just being her son's girlfriend. I was her friend too. She would always tell me that "you can do anything you put your mind to". She would say that to me on a regular basis. Her son and I went out for four years. When we broke up I still talked to Lolus every week and tried to see her every couple of months. We would get together after Christmas to exchange gifts and to catch up. She was an amazing woman. In 1985 she stopped smoking and soon after developed a heart condition. She always said her heart condition was caused by her not smoking anymore. We used to laugh about that. Lolus died on January 6, 1986 at the age of 56. I still miss her very much. She was one of my heroes. At her funeral I stood in line with her children to receive the mourners, when one of my high school teachers came through the line...I said to him "I didn't know that you knew Lolus"...he said "I never met her, but anyone who could raise six children all by herself and do it so well, must have been an amazing woman"...he hit the nail on the head...she was all that...AMAZING. She used to say to me "If wishes were horses then beggars would ride". She was down to earth and 'positively' touched everyone in her life. Damselfly Lady February 16 Touch Our HeartsWhen I was young...oh say 16 years of age. I can hardly remember what I thought love was. Memory not being what it used to be. We all saw the movies, my heart would start beating faster as the man would start to kiss the woman. In the movies I believe it was the chemistry of the characters that made the love jump across the screen to us moviegoers. Some actors were good at making us believe the love existed between the two people...some were not very good at it.
One of my favorite love scenes is the one between Cher and Nicholas Cage in Moonstruck. The two are standing outside his apartment building in New York City in the freezing temperature with snow starting to fall. You can see how cold they are, you can see their breath, but still they stand out there talking. He asks her "you waited for love the first time you got married, why didn't you wait for love the second time", she responds "he didn't show up", he replies "I'm here", and she says "your late". Gosh I love that exchange and what follows. When I walked out of the movie theater after Moonstruck, I turned to my friends and said "What the hell was that?" (Excuse my cursing). I have probably seen the movie at least 15 times now, and each time it gets better. Cosmo's moon. If you don't know what I am talking about...you will just have to see the movie.
Another favorite scene of mine is in the movie Pillow Talk. Yes, Doris Day and Rock Hudson, a cliche I know. In the scene the two are at a piano bar and Doris Day's character is wondering why Rock Hudson's character has not kissed her yet. They have been on several dates. She decides to ask him, "Don't you like me?". He responds that he does. She says, "why haven't you ever kissed me". He says something about respecting her...she again asks "don't you want to kiss me?", he responds, "mam, that is a direct question and a direct questions deserves a direct answer". Well you know what happens next...He kisses her of course...and what a Kiss. Yikes. Sometimes you just need to ask for what you want.
When I first fell in love with my husband, all it took was a look. When you are first falling in love your libido is going crazy and you can't get enough of each other. You all know what I mean. Relationships evolve, they have to. Now it seems to take more than a 'look' but that's okay too. We love each other more now than we did at the beginning of our relationship. Every once in awhile my husband will turn to me and say "thanks for marrying me". We have been married almost 10 years. Definitely not a long time -- in comparison with ones own life, but a long time in marriage years with todays culture. Each time he thanks me, I am glad that he stills wants to be married to me. Sometimes we need to stop our busy lives and count our blessings. We will lay in bed at night and list all of our blessings. It definitely makes us feel better if we've had a bad day. We haven't counted our blessings in awhile. We need to do that tonight.
In the movie Walk the Line Johny Cash asks June Carter to marry him, and he says to her "I just want to take care of you". Now ladies I know that you feminists don't like comments like that. But I have to disagree...I can definitely take care of myself...but sometimes I just want to be taken care of, and knowing someone who loves me is there to take on that task is...priceless. Play the video of Johnny Cash's marriage proposal to June Carter above. You'll see what I mean by "the look". Priceless. I hope it 'touches your heart'.
I haven't seen the movie yet, but I will this weekend. Here's hoping you all get the feeling you once had with the "look", this weekend. December 21 HAPPY BIRTHDAYIt was a Friday afternoon at about 3:00 p.m. I was at my desk at work, when suddenly I heard a tune, which was very familiar. The happy birthday song. I looked up and what should my wandering eyes appear but three siblings and a mom that I could hear. They were the ones singing the aforementioned birthday song. My family is from the Midwest and I live no where near the Midwest. So, when I looked up and saw my three siblings and mom singing happy birthday to me in my office when I wasn't expecting them, I was very surprised. It meant so much that they took the time, money and effort to get together and give me such a wonderful surprise. I was feeling very low this December, it was my 50th birthday and I wasn't planning anything special to commemorate the occasion, until they arrived. We had a wonderful weekend together, we watched the Wisconsin Badgers and the Marquette Warriors play basketball at a local sports bar. The Badgers won, so everyone was happy...except Marquette fans of course. When I was a kid and people found out my birthday was in December, they would ask me if I felt jipped that my birthday might get eclipsed by Christmas. I loved having my birthday in December, it made that month twice as nice. Twice as much celebrating, twice as much to look forward to. My parents were always very good about not giving me one present and saying "this is for your birthday and Christmas combined". What can I say about traveling 50 times around the sun...I am very TIRED. I used to think as I got older I would also get wiser. Not so, I have more experience, but I don't equate that with wisdom. My family will tell you that I always think I am right. They are correct in that assumption...I usually am right. You see, I don't speak my mind unless I have a good many facts. I do not like to be proven wrong. I also married someone who likes to be right (or more precise, he likes to be exact). We have some heated debates from time to time. As I get older, I am less precise, which my husband will point out to me with exactness. ;-) As Christmas approaches we are preparing for our open house on Friday, the 22nd. This is the second year we have had an open house at Christmas. We had such a nice time last year. Combining friends from church, our neighborhood and work was a big success. People were conversing with everyone, not just their own group. I heard some very interesting conversations throughout the night. What a wonderful way to celebrate the birth of our Savior...with close friends and family. I wish everyone all the wonder of the season and hope you can celebrate with your family and friends. MERRY CHRISTMAS and HAPPY NEW YEAR for 2007! P.S. Thank you to my family for making my 50th birthday one to remember for all time. That's what you get for JUMPING ON THE BED! It is usually worth the headache you get. ;-) August 24 It was 1982...Part 2I proceeded to drive my sister home from the hospital. It was now around 2:30 a.m. The doctor had told me that she needed to have her stitches cleaned and then to put a salve on them three times a day. He also told me that it would be better if she didn't look in a mirror for a couple of days.
When I got home, I put my sister to bed, went into the adjacent bathroom and hung a towel over the medicine cabinet mirror, in case she got up to use the bathroom, she wouldn't inadvertently look in the mirror (she peeked around the towel and looked anyway). I proceeded upstairs to tell our parents what happened. They both came down to see my sister. My mom was going through menopause at the time and started having one of her hot flashes (I don't know why I remember that). My dad sat down on my sisters bed to take a look and said "oh, that will heal up in a couple of days". (One of the biggest understatements I have ever heard).
The next morning the swelling began. You would not have recognized my sister. In addition to the 40 stitches in her face, a good portion of the skin was scraped off by the gravel. The swelling was grotesque and distorted her facial features. My sister kept complaining that her arm hurt. I kept thinking forget about your arm what about your FACE
 . Come to find out, on Monday she went to her regular doctor and he x-rayed her arm, she had chipped a piece off her elbow bone, which they failed to catch in the emergency room on Friday night. For three days I cleaned her lacerations and put on the salve. I did not sleep for three days. Every time I closed my eyes to try and fall asleep all I saw was my sisters mangled face. After three days the swelling started to go down, and she started to look like herself again (herself with 40 stitches in her face) :). The whole experience was very nerve racking for me. She seemed to take everything in stride. Of course, she loved telling the story...after awhile I kind of like telling it too.
The following Friday, she went in to have the stitches removed. By this time, along with the stitches she had large scabs on her face where the skin had been rubbed off. The doctor removed the stitches and pulled the scabs off too. When I returned home from work that day, she was a sight for sore eyes. She looked wonderful. She continued to heal over the following months and even years to come. To this day she has not had any plastic surgery...I almost wish I could find the nurse that scared me half to death with her emergency room talk of plastic surgery. I am thankful that she survived and her accident wasn't more serious than it was.
Within a year of her accident my sister bought herself a MOTORCYCLE. Yup, a Suzuki motorcycle. At that point I said to myself..."Self, you can no longer feel you are responsible for your sisters well-being". I knew that I couldn't spend my days worrying about her on the bike, if I did I would go crazy. So I had to let go of my worry and hope she would be responsible with the bike. It sounds like an easy thing to do...but as most of you know, it is natural to worry about a family members well-being. Especially when they are doing something dangerous. And don't let anyone kid you...motorcycles are dangerous. Just ask my sister.
I spoke to her recently about the accident. We had a good laugh :). The day after the accident she wanted me to take some photos of her...for posterity. When I talked to her the other day I asked her if she still had those photos...she said she does. I asked her to email me a couple. She is going to look for them and try to send them via email. If she does I will post them on my blog. Very scary pictures.
The point of my story...worrying about things you cannot control is fruitless and will do harm to the worrier. Let it go. Save your worrying for things you can control and then do something about it!
I miss you Suds not Sudsy...I stand corrected.
Copyright ©2006 Damselfly Lady |
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